These stay-at-home dads started a workshop to help fathers style their daughters’ hair
Founded and run by two stay-at-home dads, Dads and Braids teaches fathers how to style their daughters’ hair while building confidence, challenging caregiving stereotypes and creating another way to bond with their daughters.
At Dads and Braids, fathers come together to learn how to style young girls’ hair. (Photo: CNA/Izza Haziqah)
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A group of fathers are gathered together, laughing and chatting over pizza, drinks and other snacks.
But that’s not all they’re doing.
Some are concentrating intensely. Others are exchanging tips. Some are fiddling with hair ties while a few are struggling to keep three thick strands of synthetic hair from slipping through their fingers.
This is not a Friday night out. This is Dads and Braids.
Founded by longtime friends and stay-at-home dads Jeggan Rajendram, and Rukshan Chiththananda, it’s a hands-on workshop where fathers learn how to style young girls’ hair.
Dads and Braids, which had its first run in April this year, was inspired by similar initiatives overseas, including Pints and Ponytails, and Braids and Beers.
Each session lasts for about 1.5 hours. There, Rajendram and Rukshan guide fellow fathers as they practice on mannequin heads and learn simple hairstyles for girls. These include basic ponytails, twin braids, criss-cross ponytails and styles accessorised with colourful hair ties, ribbons and clips.
The first few sessions took place in the cosy function room of the condominium estate where Rajendram and his family live, with about a dozen fathers turning up. Food is provided and lounge chairs are also available in case anyone needs a break.
DAD CAN DO IT TOO
The idea for Dads and Braids began after Rajendram left his high-ranking role at Meta in January, following a period of burnout.
The 41-year-old Singaporean father of two girls, aged four and two, said he had been exhausted and mentally consumed by work, even on weekends when he was physically with his family.
“To let go and relax, I took a trip to Sri Lanka with my elder daughter to bond and spend quality time with her, while my wife and younger daughter stayed at home,” he said.
During that trip, however, he realised something both embarrassing and sobering: He had no idea how to do his daughter’s hair.
“Throughout the trip, all I could manage was a messy ponytail,” Rajendram said. “I could sense my daughter, who’s used to showing off beautiful hairstyles done by my wife and our helper, was slightly disappointed.”
When they returned, Rajendram was determined not to make his daughter feel that way again. More than that, he wanted to prove to himself and his family that he was just as capable of styling his daughters’ hair, even though he never had to manage long hair himself.
Luckily, he could turn to his friend Rukshan, who had also left his role in health tech product management at the end of 2024 to be more present for his own four-year-old daughter.
Rukshan had started learning how to style his daughter’s hair after becoming a stay-at-home dad and taking charge of her daycare drop-offs and pick-ups.
“I would drop her off with just combed hair,” the 38-year-old said, laughing. “I remember her daycare teacher would give me the side-eye. When I picked her up later in the day, her hair would be beautifully done up, as if the teacher was trying to tell me in the best yet subtle way: This is how you do your girl’s hair.”
Rukshan added: “At first, even my wife barely had any confidence in me. She was puzzled that I wanted to even try, but she never questioned me or made fun of me.”
Over the next few months, he learned how to do several simple hairstyles, from basic twin braids to criss-cross ponytails, accessorised with various hair ties, ribbons and clips.
Rajendram, meanwhile, learned the ropes from his helper, who taught him how to braid, tie, and even comb properly. “Who knew combing had an art?” he remarked.
Whenever the two friends met to catch up, their conversations would turn to their daughters’ hair. They exchanged notes and shared tips and tricks on how to improve.
But when the topic came up at gatherings or meetups, other fathers reacted with a mix of shock, confusion, awe and curiosity.
“Eventually, more and more dads came up to us and asked if we could teach them,” Rajendram said. “And that’s when I had an idea: What if we ran a workshop on this?”
BUILDING CONFIDENCE AS A DAD
The first workshop in April drew about a dozen fathers. At the most recent session on May 22, several dads who attended said they came because they wanted to be more involved in small but meaningful parts of their children’s daily routines.
For Rajendram and Rukshan, starting the workshop wasn’t to turn other dads into expert stylists, but to build their confidence.
“Sometimes, fathers don’t style their daughter’s hair because they just don’t know yet,” Rukshan said. “And before they can even learn, some of their peers or even spouses would make fun of them. That would kill any sort of curiosity or inkling to learn.”
Rajendram added that the workshop is a “safe space where the embarrassment is deliberately removed, because most of us start as beginners”.
There, the dads practise parting hair, combing, tying, braiding and securing the styles on mannequins. Some struggle to keep the strands in place, while others take more than an hour to learn even a basic braid. A few dads even brought their daughters – although they decided against using their girls’ real hair as demos.
“The point isn’t about being instantly good, but trying – I’m still learning with you too,” Rajendram, who led the workshop alongisde Rukshan, told the attendees.
He hopes that by the time fathers leave the room, they will feel confident enough to try again at home – this time on their girls – even if the result is not perfect.
Roy Choudhury, a 42-year-old who works in banking and has two daughters aged eight and five, said he wanted to “stop being the butt of the joke at home”.
“My daughters would tease each other by saying things like, ‘If you don’t stop disturbing me, Papa will do your hair!’ as if it was the worst thing that could happen,” he said. “I really wanted to change that.”
Another father, Richard, 45, who has a two-year-old girl and an older son who likes to keep his hair long, said even the smallest effort made a difference.
“The smallest effort I’d show in just tying or combing their hair would delight them,” he said. “I don’t want that to be the benchmark for dads. We need to be better and actually have something to be proud of.”
BREAKING FATHERHOOD STEREOTYPES
For a long time, Rukshan admitted, he thought it was normal for women to take on most of the caregiving load, which can consist of what he described as “a million small tasks”.
“I used to barely notice when my male friends relaxed while their wives struggled with the children or handled the many logistics that came with family outings,” he said.
“It was so normal to witness that imbalance that it never bothered me until I became the primary caregiver myself. That’s when I realised how much my wife and many mothers carry on their own.”
Learning to style his daughter’s hair became one small way of challenging that.
“By learning how to do my daughter’s hair, I’m moving away from normalising that imbalance and showing that Dad can carry the load too,” he said. “Dad can and should show up in these everyday moments too.”
The experience also expanded the way he viewed fatherhood.
“Dad is always known as the one who earns money and puts food on the table – and those are important and good values,” he said. “But there wasn’t much room for men to explore alternative ideas of fatherhood.
“Being boxed into those stereotypes is a problem because some men want to show other forms of healthy masculinity.”
Rajendram noticed the same double standard when people reacted to him braiding his daughters’ hair.
“When I started braiding and styling my daughters’ hair, I started to notice how people would look at me differently and get really impressed by me,” he said. “But it confused me because my wife did it all the time, and no one applauded her.
“That’s when I realised the bar is so low for men, but it doesn’t have to be that way. We can all raise it together.”
BONDING WITH DAUGHTERS IN UNEXPECTED WAYS
“Styling their hair brought me closer to my girls,” Rajendram said. His daughters now happily run to him when they want their hair tied or braided.
“It’s great to know they trust me and even feel happy and proud to wear their daddy’s hairstyle,” he said. “Even if it can never beat my wife’s or our helper’s.”
For Rukshan, becoming more hands-on also improved his marriage.
“The marriage, which wasn’t bad, got so much better because we both support each other, and we both are showing up for our daughter together,” he said.
Many other dads who attended their workshop shared the same thing: Just showing up wanting to learn a skill traditionally confined to only the mothers made their wives happy, touched and relieved.
Dads and Braids hopes to run more sessions in the future, with the next two confirmed for Jul 10 and 24. The participation fee covers materials including a printed tutorial sheet, hairbands and a pink shirt customised to each daughter’s size, with the line: “Daddy Did My Hair”.
Those interested can contact Rajendram via his Instagram.
Source: CNA/iz
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