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Likability matters. As Mark Cuban says, “One of the most underrated skills in business is being nice. Nice sells.” Research suggests he’s right: Likable people are more likely to get hired, earn promotions, be seen as effective leaders and succeed in sales.
But making a strong first impression is where it all starts.
You probably know the basics: Smile, make eye contact and ask questions. In one Harvard study, people who asked at least two follow-up questions were perceived as significantly more likable. Another study found that people who expect to be liked behave more warmly — and often leave a better first impression.
But how do you know whether you’ve actually made a good first impression?
1. Genuine smiles and laughter
Don’t read too much into an initial polite smile. Instead, watch what happens as the conversation unfolds. Genuine smiles, spontaneous laughter and authentic emotional expressions are stronger signs that you’ve built rapport.
2. Eye contact
Consistent eye contact usually signals engagement, but don’t assume looking away is a bad sign. During thoughtful conversations, people naturally break eye contact while processing what you’ve said. If they re-engage, that’s often a sign they’re genuinely invested.
3. Physical proximity
Personal space varies from person to person (your “normal” may be my “too close”), but if someone naturally moves a little closer during a conversation, it’s often a sign they feel comfortable around you.
4. They introduce new topics
One of the clearest signs you’ve built rapport is when the other person stops simply answering your questions and starts introducing new topics of their own.
You can encourage that by asking thoughtful follow-up questions. When someone tells me what they do for a living, I often respond, “That sounds like a really hard job.” (After all, everyone’s job is hard.) Acknowledging that experience makes people feel seen and they’re often more willing to open up. From there, conversations naturally become broader and more interesting.
5. They mirror your expressions
Another subtle sign of rapport is facial mimicry. Research shows that people naturally mirror the expressions of those they feel connected to. If you smile and they smile, or you look skeptical and they instinctively do the same, it may signal that they’re emotionally engaged and beginning to share your perspective.
Try it out for yourself
Let’s say you meet someone who works in sales. Don’t stop at, “What do you do?” Ask a good follow-up question: “How often do you think you’ve landed a sale … and then it falls apart?” Then ask what they do in that situation. Ask how it feels. Ask what they’ve learned — and even ask for advice you can apply in your own life.
Then pay attention to the signals. Are they introducing new topics? Smiling naturally? Moving a little closer? Mirroring your expressions?
Those are all good signs you’ve made a strong first impression. And the best part is that you rarely have to force it. When you’re genuinely curious about someone else, you’re far more likely to leave a lasting positive impression.
Jeff Haden is a leadership expert, speaker and author of the bestselling book “The Motivation Myth: How Achievers Really Set Themselves Up to Win.”
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