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These days, singles are only willing to put in a certain amount of effort when it comes to going out.
A majority, 61% would not travel more than 30 minutes for a first date, according to a recent survey of about 1,500 U.S. adults by DatingNews.com. Thirty-eight percent said they’ve even passed on a potential match because of distance.
“It’s not surprising,” says dating and relationship coach Anwar White. Relationship expert Natassia Miller agrees. Here’s why they think singles are being picky about distance, and their advice to anyone trying to find their match.
‘People worry about affordability’
There are likely many factors playing into why people are staying closer to home when dating.
First, “people worry about affordability,” says Miller. The average cost of a date, including grooming, transportation and the date itself, is $189, according to the BMO Financial Group’s 2026 BMO Real Financial Progress Index. Millennials, specifically, spend as much as $252 on average per date.
The apps present another set of problems. Seventy-three percent of singles intend to use dating apps for finding a match this year, according to a previous DatingNews.com survey. They give a sense of endless options, so it’s easier to be picky — they also cause some dating fatigue.
“When you look at what the app match rates and swipe rates are,” says White, if those seem low to someone, “then it might really feel like, is it really worth it to go on this date?”
Since the pandemic, people have also gotten more used to being at home.
“I think many of our lives really became home-based,” he says, adding that the attitude might be, “I’m not just going to go to a random bar and club and unfortunately spend $100 when I could just be at home for free watching Netflix and swiping.”
‘If you’re in a metropolitan area, you’re going to have more options’
Neither White nor Miller think this attitude is necessarily a bad one, if it means people are being intentional about who they invest their time in. But they recommend putting some work in beforehand to determine if the travel time really seems like it’s worth it.
Try scheduling a 30-to 60-minute phone call with the person before you commit to meeting up, for example. “If the person doesn’t call, if the person calls significantly late, or forgets to call, that’s a sign,” says White.
Also, consider location. In a rural area, you might have fewer options for who to date, says Miller. “If you’re in a metropolitan area,” she says, “you’re going to have more options, so you can be a little bit more strict in that regard.”
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