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With artificial intelligence now performing tasks that used to require humans years of training, it’s natural for parents to wonder: What should I teach my child that AI can’t do?
As a pediatric surgeon, early childhood researcher and mom of eight now-grown kids, I’ve spent 20 years studying how children’s brains develop. If I were raising a young kid today, I would focus on helping them develop one essential skill: frustration tolerance.
Frustration isn’t something most of us seek out for our children. We want to make things easier on our kids, not harder. But growth rarely happens in moments of ease.
While I can’t predict what an AI-driven future will look like, I can say with certainty that it will belong to people who are persistent, adaptable and able to navigate uncertainty. Here are four ways frustration tolerance sets kids up for success.
1. Frustration builds persistence
When children experience manageable frustration and work through it with gentle support from a parent or caregiver, they develop perseverance and persistence.
You’re job as a parent is not to take over the task. True support looks like asking instructive questions, praising a child’s perseverance or simply acknowledging how hard it is.
With this kind of encouragement, kids learn that difficult things can become easier with practice. They discover that confusion is a sign of success and that obstacles are a normal and valuable part of growth.
2. Frustration prioritizes the process over the end result
One danger of AI tools is that children may never develop the capacity to sit with discomfort long enough to learn, create and solve problems independently.
Why struggle through the first draft of an essay when a chatbot can generate one instantly? Why wrestle with algebra when an AI assistant can provide the answer in seconds?
Helping children to experience and tolerate frustration can help them savor the process of searching for answers and understanding problems, not just the satisfaction of completing them.
The next time your early reader is struggling over a big word or your preschooler is fumbling with their jacket, give them the time they need to get it right, or as close to right as they can, on their own. Then praise their effort and their process, not just the outcome.
3. Frustration cultivates creativity
Frictionless AI may seem appealing. But friction — the imperfect drawing, the failed summersault, the disagreement with a friend — is what breeds creativity and growth. You can’t innovate without repeated failures or think critically without encountering uncertainty.
When your child is working on something creative, you can encourage them to see mistakes as opportunities. They meant to color the water blue, but it came out green? Maybe it’s a spooky swamp instead of a clear lake. Their Lego castle is missing a turret? Maybe it’s the knights’ fortress.
Offer extra supplies so they never feel like their first try has to be their last or best. Let them see you make mistakes, too. When they do, they will start to see frustration as the pathway to a breakthrough rather than something they should be scared of or avoid.
4. Frustration strengthens relationships and the brain
One of the most valuable ways that children learn how to navigate frustration is through their relationships with parents, grandparents, teachers, siblings and peers. These experiences lay the foundations that make all learning possible.
This looks like when a caregiver helps a child name their feelings without rescuing them from every challenge. When a teacher creates opportunities for students to struggle productively and discover solutions for themselves. And when open lines of communication are encouraged and disagreements are treated as a natural part of living alongside others.
All of these actions help build brains that support self-regulation, resilience, literacy and empathy.
If I were raising a child today, I wouldn’t teach them to become the best user of AI. I would help them become someone who can pivot when necessary, persevere through difficulty and learn from failure to continue growing — even when the answer isn’t immediately available. That’s frustration tolerance. In the age of AI, it may be the most important future-proof skill of all.
Dana Suskind, MD, is the Founder and Co-director of the TMW Center for Early Learning + Public Health, Founding Director of the Pediatric Cochlear Implant Program, and Professor of Surgery, Pediatrics, and Public Policy (affiliated) at the University of Chicago. Her new book, “Human Raised: Nurturing Connection, Curiosity, and Lifelong Learning in the Age of AI” is now available.
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